


Come Back to You

by iwatobio, Jaela



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-13
Updated: 2015-06-13
Packaged: 2018-04-04 07:06:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4129185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwatobio/pseuds/iwatobio, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaela/pseuds/Jaela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama and Hinata have learned how to grow together, but how do they grow when they're apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Back to You

**Author's Note:**

> For the SASO prompt:
> 
> _"I was raised up believing I was somehow unique_   
>  _Like a snowflake distinct among snowflakes, unique in each way you can see_   
>  _And now after some thinking, I'd say I'd rather be_   
>  _A functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me_   
>  _[...]_   
>  _If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm sore_   
>  _Someday I'll be like the man on the screen"_   
>  _-Helplessness Blues, Fleet Foxes_
> 
>  
> 
> A collaborative work this time, mostly introspective stuff about the training camp arc. It's about time I posted about these _other_ tiny baby first year crows.

It’s not that Kageyama thinks Hinata is a genius, it’s just that “Hinata” and “genius” mean more or less the same thing in Kageyama’s mind.

No, wait. Start over. It is _not like that._

Being called a genius, to Kageyama, is like this: He doesn’t like it, but he wants it. He doesn’t want to want it as much as he does, but he takes a dark and secret pleasure in hearing that word applied to him. He doesn’t like the implications or the eventuality of what being called that will mean someday… but there is a security in that identity. It means that he is special; that he stands out. It means that he is meant to achieve something great.

He occasionally manages not to feel the gnawing ache in his guts that asks _but what if you can’t._

Hinata, to Kageyama, is like this: Irritating, and always around, and when he’s not around it’s even more irritating. From the beginning, he didn’t want to play with that useless guy, but he wanted Hinata to want to play together. As if that wasn’t confusing enough on its own, it just gets worse when Hinata starts looking at him like he’s made of magic. Kageyama can’t do anything with that even though it appeals to him on some level. He doesn’t like Hinata. But he really wants Hinata to like _him._

…He’s not prepared for the eventuality of that train of thought, either.

\--

"Long time no see, Tobio Chan~! You've really grown. How's the 'king' doing?" Oikawa said, dripping with sarcastic friendliness.

When Shouyou heard the words "Tobio-chan" leave Oikawa's mouth, he was stunned. _Tobio-chan?_ The name "Tobio" didn't fit. Shouyou hadn't really thought much about Kageyama's given name because in his mind he mostly thought of him as "that jerk Kageyama" or sometimes "Bakageyama," but to him Tobio was a name belonging to a different sort of boy. Someone more innocent and open, able to laugh at himself and make friends easily. Definitely not the name for a guy known as a dictator on the court. No, if Shouyou had been asked to guess he would have picked a name like Goro or Katsuya or Kaiba or something for Kageyama.

And _-chan!_ of all things. Though he realized that Oikawa was just teasing Kageyama, the fact was that Kageyama was so not someone who would ever want to be referred to that way. Maybe his mother called him that (Kageyama's mother? What kind of a person is that?), but the sound of both _Tobio_ and _-chan_ as designations for Kageyama sent Shouyou reeling. It would be like calling an anime villain -chan, he thought. _Orochimaru-chan,_ he tested, and shuddered a little.

But there he was, the Grand King talking to Karasuno's genius(/idiot) setter as if he were an unruly preschooler! Part of Shouyou wanted to laugh at Kageyama's expense—he _did_ deserve to be brought down a peg—but the rest of him was unexpectedly angry. Maybe it wasn't the same as if someone had said something cruel to Tanaka-senpai or Nishinoya-senpai, for example—you'd have to restrain Shouyou back physically if that happened.

But it felt wrong even so. _Kageyama shouldn't have to take that,_ he thought. Though he would never admit it, Shouyou thought Kageyama had a lot to be proud of. It was wrong for Oikawa to belittle him like that. _Oikawa doesn't really know him like I do,_ Shouyou realized.

Shouyou almost opened his mouth to say something, but then all at once the moment was over. He noticed that Kageyama (Tobio. Tobio? _Tobio,_ he thought, both a little guilty and excited, as if the word was forbidden) seemed tense, like a scrawny alley cat expecting to be attacked.

Shouyou narrowed his eyes. He vowed to do his best to beat the Grand King into the ground.

 

\--

So much time had passed between the first time Hinata squeezed his eyes shut for that spike and the moment he faced Kageyama dead-on to say he wanted to keep his eyes open from now on.

And that made _no sense_ , not only for practical game reasons, but also because, well… Hinata _trusted_ him, right? He trusted Kageyama and liked him and admired him maybe almost a little too much, so why would he need to do something stupid like that? _Unless…?_ He just growled his refusal so he wouldn’t have to think about whether or not Hinata trusted him less now or something, and what that would mean.

Kageyama was part of a team now, somehow. He did stuff like communicating and asking questions and adjusting to each teammate’s strengths. But he was still a genius, wasn’t he? He was still a prodigy or something, and Hinata _cared_ about him in some ridiculous way that made no sense.

Who _cares_ about being a genius, and who _cares_ about Hinata?

But Kageyama would be lost if either of those things changed.

\--

If Kageyama had actually said any of that stuff to Shouyou, he would have told him how stupid it was. Of _course_ Shouyou still trusted him. This wasn’t about that.

But Kageyama was, as usual, not really saying what he meant at all, so Shouyou didn’t have a chance to explain that since he could trust Kageyama to give him the best toss every time, Shouyou had every right to find a way to meet it with the perfect spike.

If that meant that Kageyama wasn’t going to pass to him at all until he got there, then so be it.

Teams have to work together, but a Small Giant is so called for standing out, for having immeasurable strength of his own.

So, he was going to practice, and he was going to learn the tempos, and then he was going to go back as someone Kageyama _couldn’t_ refuse to toss to. That was that.

\--

Kageyama did not mean to actually get into a full-on physical fist fight with Hinata. He didn’t mean to run into Oikawa, either. None of this was going the way it was supposed to, and irritation buzzed at the back of his head in a near-constant hum even louder than usual.

It became a little more bearable, admittedly, when he actually had something of his own to work on. He could line up bottles and run penalties until it either killed him or until he could stop thinking about annoying things. Whichever came first.

Because thinking about Hinata in general was increasingly annoying ever since that fight. Thoughts of him kept getting locked in his head as proof of something he couldn’t quite pin down,but it made him feel dizzy and overheated in a way that wasn’t just the awful summer heat.

He almost tells Yachi that Hinata has a big stupid crush on him and it’s annoying as hell, but he just asks her to put the ball in the air again instead. He even says _please._

He almost asks Takeda-sensei why on earth a genius would get in a fight with a total idiot and then start feeling like maybe he wants more than just to be liked, but that falters and dies in his throat too.

Practice is mercifully distracting, even when it’s hard. It occupies his mind enough to push everything else out and tires out his body so he can fall asleep easily once the distraction is gone.

He manages not to think about it much at all until the very last day of the training camp.

But when Hinata throws open the door to the gym and stands there in the threshold with the sunlight silhouetting his hair like it’s made of actual fire, Kageyama wants… not just for Hinata to keep liking him. Hinata can grow and change or whatever, too, if he wants. And it could be that Kageyama wants that, for Hinata’s sake. Maybe just a little.


End file.
